The Perfect Mistress

The Perfect Mistress by Victoria Alexander 703

The widowed Lady Julia Winterset is desperate for funds after her very kind husband left her nearly penniless and his very proper family cut off her allowance. Luckily her scandalous great- grandmother left her memoirs to Julia and, although they are old, there is still an interest in reading them because several of her lovers are still alive today. One of those ex-lovers is the father of the Harrison, the Earl of Montdale, and since scandal has never touched the family Harrison is determined to keep this memoirs from seeing the light of day. His sister-in-law (the wife of his deceased older half brother), Veronica, is close friends with Julia, along with fellow widow Portia, and she makes it clear that Julia is going to sell the novel and nothing will stop her. Harrison attempts to purchase the memoirs so he can destroy them, but Julia is having none of it and turns him down flat. He is infuriated and convinced that she is far more intelligent than any woman should ever be, and she is equally upset at his high-handed manner, and of course neither can get the other out of their mind.

Harrison enlists the help of Mr. Ellsworth, an author with quite the reputation with the ladies, to help him win the manuscript from Julia, but it is not long before he finds himself jealous of the man's headway with Julia and upset at the possibility that she could fall for his charm. Julia, meanwhile, is more convinced then ever to publish the manuscript because she wants the income and because her great-grandmother's ghost has taken to appearing in her bedroom every night. Julia possesses none of the qualities that Harrison wants in a wife, but he cannot get her out of his mind and he is very worried for her when she becomes the subject of vicious and scandalous gossip among the ton. He immediately goes to her rescue and to the realization that she is everything he needs in life; happy and carefree, willing to take risks, and far too smart to let him get away with anything. Just as Julia thinks she has found someone to bring excitement to her life, she discovers his agreement with Ellsworth and Harrison has to pull out all the stops, and risk quite the scandal, in order to win the woman he loves.

Julia was a likable heroine because she was forced to adapt to completely new circumstances; going from a wife in a very content marriage, with few worries, to a nearly broke widow. I thought she handled the situation with great aplomb- she did what she had to do, she thought through her actions, and she did it all while keeping true to herself and not compromising herself. Harrison was fit into one of the romance novel hero stereotypes; the oh-so-propor lord who had far too many standards and placed far too much emphasis on reputation. I do often like this romance novel staple, but I felt like there wasn't enough to distinguish him and I was terribly disappointed because something was revealed in the book that would have really shook up his world and made things very interesting, and yet it went nowhere. I had the same problem with both of them and that was that they did not connect; I felt like there was very little chemistry and so Alexander fell back on having them argue and spar constantly throughout the novel and somehow this was supposed to represent them falling in love.

I am not a fan of couples that connect over arguments because, while disagreements are healthy, I do find the idea of a marriage filled with verbal tongue twisters, romantic at all. I really did not get much progression of their romance at all and there were very few scenes where they were not arguing, but what there was was entertaining and I really wish there had been more. The best relationship(s) in the book was that between Julia and her two close friends because it really did seem like a genuine friendship where they supported and aided each other and I was impressed because most romance novel friendships are just blatant attempts to set up the next books in the series. The plot involving the memoirs was nice and served as an impetuous to get the two of them together without having the question of what would happen to them take over. However, there was a ghost. A ghost. I almost fell off my seat when the ghost appeared and I realized we were supposed to swallow this. I do not want ghosts in my romance novels and think it really should have been mentioned in the blurb.

Rating: An interesting story with so much potential and while I enjoyed reading it I wish there had been more of a relationship between the characters and that there had NOT been a ghost.

The Princess and the Pea

The Princess and the Pea by Victoria Alexander

When Cecily White learns that her dear friend has been thrown over by a British lord after his mother deemed her unsuitable she decides to teach the British a lesson by going to England, ensnaring this Earl of Graystone, and throwing him over. Jarred, the Earl of Graystone, needs to marry a wealthy heiress and is not too particular about a bride except where a purse is concerned. The same cannot be said for his mother, Olivia, who has continually set up "tests" for his prospective fiances; tests that all of them have failed. Jarred has forbidden his mother to meddle in his affairs anymore and heads up North to visit his business partner Quentin. Quentin and Jarred work together building horseless carriages, or automobiles, and Jarred knows that he must keep his involvement a secret or risk causing a scandal among the ton. When Quentin's aunt has friends visit, Jarred is drawn to the oldest daughter of the family, Cece, and the two spend the most fun times together, from riding the automobile through the countryside to unchaperoned nights in Paris. Not knowing that Cece is an heiress, he breaks up with her by note, knowing that he needs money for his title, even if it breaks his heart to let her go.

Cece is devastated when her penniless inventor leaves her waiting, but it only bolsters her plan to go to London and get back at the British. She is shocked when the first member of the peerage she is introduced to is none other than her inventor the Earl of Graystone. A quick discussion reveals that both of them have intense feelings for each other, but Cece is horrified to find that Jarred needs her money. Nonetheless she agrees, at least to herself, if not to Jarred, that she must marry this man she is in love with and hope that she can get him to reverse his ideas about keeping his involvement with the automobile secret. Before any marriage though Cece must prove herself to Jarred's mother who, despite his warnings, continues to create challenges. First there is placing Cece in a hallway with a lecherous old man, then placing her in charge of a dinner party with no chef and no entertainment, to finally revealing her son's involvement with automobiles to test Cece's loyalty. Everyone is ecstatic when Cece passes all her tests but the final test comes when Cece is forced to risk losing Jared in order to spare him from some very harsh truths.

I had very mixed emotions about Olivia. While all of her tests were undoubtedly reasonable in that they were all circumstances that any countess would encounter and need to deal with in the least scandal raising way possible, it still seemed a little... awful... that she continued to test Cece even after realizing the depths of her son's feelings for her. For her loyalty test she even admitted that it could end up breaking her son's heart, but it would be worth it. A little strange, but I was very glad that she didn't actually put a pea under Cece's mattress- that would have been way too much for me. However the problem with this plot was the fact that she hadn't put the other heiresses through these types of tests- her problems with the other girls include that one is going to become fat and another is too "flighty" with no mentions of actually seeing how they will do as a duchess like she does with Cece. Another aspect of the book that was a tad confusing; a character named Robin is introduced as a past love of Cece's mother, but after 50 pages he suddenly becomes Robert. Didn't detract from the story but I would have appreciated better editing.

There was brilliantly told little side story about Cece's mom is forced to confront a past lover whom she believed had abandoned her years before. It was amazing to read about a mature woman who is dealing with some incredibly confusing and hard aspects of her past and making a decision on how she wants her future to be. The story was told from many different POV's from Jared and Cece's to Jared and Cece's mother, Aunt Millicent and even some from Cece's sister Emily. Alexander does all of them excellently as usual. One of the things I liked most about their relationship was the sacrifices each of them was willing to make for the other, from Cece protecting Jared from some crushing news to Jared being willing to give up his title. Their love for each other was based on mutual passion and respect for each other and sharing a common dream. It was quite romantic and sweet really. My biggest problem was the epilogue that was more than a little disappointing because it imparted news about Emily's future that was more than a little depressing, even if I was supposed to be impressed or intrigued instead. Also- the type was too small.

Rating: I enjoyed the book even if I felt like it went on for just a tad too long and was more than a little annoyed at Olivia. The characters relationship was sweet and romantic.

Secrets of a Perfect Night

Secrets of a Perfect Night

"Scandalous Lord Dere" by Stephanie Laurens
When Adrian, Lord Dere, finds himself lost in a snowstorm he barely manages to make it to the front door of Abigail, Abby, Woolley. Adrian had ruined Abby eight years beforehand, granted at her insistence, and then left to lead his scandalous life in London. Abby had believed Adrian would shortly return for her, but her hopes were crushed a year later when Adrian fought against a marriage their parents had arranged between them. But now Adrian wants to give up his dissolute lifestyle and quickly after reuniting with Abby he realizes that she is the only woman he could ever marry and intends to make her his bride. For reasons Adrian cannot fathom Abby refuses his offer, but cannot resist him when it comes to his skillful lovemaking. He has no idea how much it hurt Abby that he did not want to marry her all those years ago and believes that his actions now should make up for what happened in the past. He slowly and carefully sets out to woo her but his past and reputation in London could end up hurting his chances with her at a crowded ball room where Adrian lays his heart on the line.

Laurens certainly manages to pack a bunch of steam into this 150 page novella, but unfortunately much of it just ends up frustrating and not because of Laurens typical flowery prose. It quickly becomes apparent that everytime Abby voices a concern for their future, or an opinion or idea that differs from Adrian his idea of a solution is to sex her up. When Abby first says no to his marriage proposal- he seduces her, when Abby thinks he is continuing an affair with a mistress he (after briefly briefly briefly trying to explain to her the truth) seduces her. As the longest of the three short stories one would think these characters would have enough time to work out their problems instead of just seducing them away. I liked the little bits of angst between the two of them although I quickly got tired of Adrian's- he was unhappy with his life because all the bored rich ladies of the ton were using him for his sexy prowess and none of them really cared for him as a person. It was more than a tad bit tiring to read about a man sick of being used for sex. And I didn't care for Abby as a person as, despite her sassiness, she is definitely a pushover when it comes to Adrian and lets him off the hook far too easily. Surprisingly enough my least favorite of the three stories.

"The Last Love Letter" by Victoria Alexander
Ten years ago Jason Norcross and Rachel Gresham had been madly and passionately in love with each other, and equally determined to run away to America to marry and escape her domineering father. But Rachel's father interferes in their plans leaving Rachel believing Jason had run off to America without her and Jason believing that Rachel had taken her own life. When Jason's cousin, George, Lord Lyndhurst, offers to marry Rachel she accepts and is determined to move on with her life. After his death he writes the two of them similar, but not identical letters informing each of them of the truth of the matter and letting them know that he regrets the situation and hopes both of them can leave the past behind them and find love again. Their reunion is strained but Jason quickly realizes that his feelings for Rachel have never faded and believes that she feels the same. However Rachel is terrified of trusting Jason again, even though she knows his abandonment wasn't his fault, and fears that the woman she has begun isn't capable of loving Jason the way that she had as a young girl. Determined to win her back and prove that their love has and can continue to endure Jason sets up one perfect night to make up for the one that went awry so many years ago.

The first half of this 120 page novella is chock full of flashbacks and indeed long sequences take place ten years ago as we watch Rachel and James make plans that are then dashed. These flashbacks are more interesting than the parts that take place in the "present" day as the the real-time parts are full of Rachels worries and, while they are definitely worthwhile and something that makes sense for one to be worried about, they do bog and slow down the pace of the novel. Her feelings about the girl she once was vs. the woman she know is were also a little wierd to read about- everyone changes as they grow up but it wasn't like she had become a completely different person; what made Jason fall in love with her was still present. I enjoyed how George, while obviously a flawed character, was far from being the villain and it was clear that both protagonists had deep feelings for him and "forgave" him for his secrecy after he had discovered the truth. The book has a decent amount of steam for one so short including a hot one in a stable and certainly has plenty of wonderful angst, mostly on Rachel's part. I liked the first half better; once Rachel and Jason reunited and he "forced" his way rather ham-handedly into her house I lost a little of my love for the book- still good overall.

"Now and Forever" by Rachel Gibson
Brina McConnell is terrified of attending the ten year reunion of Galliton high school even though she is no longer the short skinny wallflower anxious to fit in, but is now a successful, and sexy, private investigator. Part of her is hoping that she runs into her childhood friend Thomas Mack, whom she briefly dated their senior year before dumping him to go to Winter Prom with Mark Harris the High School Golden boy. She is surprised, and happy for him, when she discovers that Thomas has grown up, filled out, and made his fortune in the software/ computer biz. Both of them find themselves immediately taken in by the people who wouldn't have had anything to do with them back in High School, and despite his hesitancy to have anything to do with Brina, Thomas quickly finds he enjoys her company far more than that of the head cheerleader. When the two of them revisit childhood hangouts they find that they cannot keep their hands off each other which terrifies both of them. After a short lived attempt to pretend neither of them is bothered they give in to their feelings for each other, but a wrench is thrown in when Thomas is unexpectedly called away and Brina begins to worry if they have a chance together. No worries though as Thomas spends the time thinking about how important Brina is to him and how he wants to spend the rest of his life with her.

Their is very little angst on his part about the whole being dumped before prom thing for someone better than me and from her about being so eager to fit in that she hurt her best friend. However there is a good bit of it when Brina is jealous of Thomas spending time with Holly, the aforementioned head cheerleader. After reading this I realized one of the best things about regency romances is that I never read them and cringe at clothing descriptions and the same cannot be said about modern romances. Unfortunately contemporary romances that are more than 5-10 years old inevitably contain cringe worthy clothing descriptions and this was no exception, but something I can live with as I am not exactly fashionable myself. Surprisingly enough this book has the hottest, and yet smallest, amount of steam of the three in the book- Gibson is very good at this. I felt like the book moved a little fast-although they've known each other for years their reunion and falling in love takes about 4 days (plus a few extra while he's out of town) and then he's asking her to marry him (not really a spoiler people). Overall it was really good, but not perfect and certainly better than the first novella.

The Virgin's Secret

The Virgin's Secret by Victoria Alexander

Grabriella Montini's brother believed he had discovered an important and ancient seal whose imprint would lead the owner to find the lost city of Ambropia, which had been guarded by the Virgin priestess until it had slipped into the annals of history. Unfortunately when it comes time to present his discovery to the antiquities society it is only to discover someone has stolen it and replaced it with an easily recognizable forgery. He, and by consequence Gabriella, are convinced it was stolen by fellow antique hunters Nathanial and Quinton Harrington so after his death Gabriella heads to England to confront them. While sneaking into the Harrington household to search for clues she is discovered. The dowager countess insists that Gabriella come to stay in the househole to stop any possible rumors about Nathanial and Quin being antiquities thieves and to stop any assaults on Gabriella's characters- since the dowager had been friends with Gabriella's English mother. Nathanial appoints himself her partner in crime to determine who stole the seal and very quickly finds himself being more and more drawn to her and the feeling is reciprocated. It isn't very long before he begins to contemplate the idea of forever. However Gabriella has determined she will never be wed as when she was younger, much younger, she was seduced by one of her brother's colleagues younger brothers.

So Nathanial and Gabriella set off to determine who has stolen her brother's seal and there two suspects on the list in addition to Quinton and Nathanial Harrington. There is Lord Rathbourne, a cold hearted and ruthless collector who has been known to go to any lengths to get what he wants and Mr. McGovern, an American collector who has a decent if rather mysterious reputation. Through it all Gabriella does not cross either Nathanial or his brother off her list but as they work together Gabriella begins to trust him more and more. This is definitely good news for Nathanial who has begun to realize that he can not imagine a happy life without her- he admits to her that he loves her independence, her intelligence, her stubborness, and her determination and dedication to her brother's memory. When Lord Rathbourne offers Gabriella a job cataloguing his collection Nathanial is incensed but Gabriella sees it as a great opportunity to make a name for herself in the antiquities world and use her knowledge. Things immediately go awry when a vicious murder occurs and the truth about Enrico begins to come out. Gabriella and Nathanial finally admit their love but circumstances continue to try to tear them apart and trust is hard to come by in the cutthroat world of antique hunting.

My first impression of this book was not good: the search for stolen antiquities and lost cities made me a little nervous that this was going to turn out like "The Perfect Wife," arguably the worst romance novel I've ever read what with 3/4 of the book being dedicated to the extra plot and/or other romances going on. But I was pleasantly surprised that she did such a great job of ensuring that there was enough of the story dedicated to watching the relationship between Gabriella and Nathanial growing. It does seem to grow rather fast when one bothers to count the amount of time that actually elapses during the book, but I guess the protagonists spend so much that time together it makes sense that feelings would grow rather fast as well. I can understand that the Gabriella and Nathanial had to have some excuse for spending so much time together, not to mention make it possible for them to sleep together, but the reason given for Gabriella moving into the house was more than a little far-fetched. But I guess a lot of stuff in romance novels is so I can't let it get to me too much. As I mentioned in my review for "A Little Bit Wicked" Alexander can be a master at dialogue and she does not disappoint in this novel at all. Gabriella and Nathanial engage in amazingly fun and well written banter, arguments, discussion, and lectures without it getting petty or annoying as it so often does. Especially fun "discussions" occur when Nathanial discovers Gabriella is not a virgin and every time they discuss their future or love.

Unfortunately much of this greatness turned out to be just a prologue to one of the most frustrating endings I have ever read. The downfall starts with our intelligent, level-headed heroine running into a burning building to fetch letters that had been written to her mother. We are supposed to realize these letters are important to her because her mother died while giving birth to her, but... running into a burning building? I almost wished she would burn. It gets worse when, of course, she is on her death bed, so Nathanial has to arrange to save the reputation of a man who doesn't deserve any sort of reputation saving. And gets worse as Alexander does everything he has to to keep our protagonists from having their happily ever after before page 370 (the historical romance novel end all), including some far-fetched trip to find a ridiculous necklace. And instead of telling his mother to shove it, that he wants to go back to the injured woman he loves, he goes along with it! Not to mention she learns about important family information through a LETTER! AND we have the obligatory "OMG! It might not work out! It's not working out!" until the final 2 (yes 2) pages when everything is resolved. Except, we discover in the epilogue, the mystery of what actually happened to the seal- you know, what the book was about. It was just a one-two-three-four-five....fifty... punch of stupidity coming at me for 30ish pages. Also- very little steam; 2 kisses, 1 actual steamy scene.

Rating: I gave "A Little Bit Wicked" the benefit of the doubt, but while at first I could not decide between 3 and 4 hearts, the ending left me confused between 2 and 3 hearts. The ending sealed it.

A Visit from Sir Nicholas

A Visit from Sir Nicholas by Victoria Alexander

A Visit from Sir Nicholas opens 10 years before the majority of the story takes place as Elizabeth Effington and Nicholas Collingsworth, the heir to a Lord whose death is quite a ways away, fight their attraction to each other. Elizabeth, Lizzie to her friends, has presented a facade of frivolity (a word that appears much too frequently throughout the novel, to the world and it is only to Nicholas that she has felt able to reveal her true intellect and non-frivolous-ness. Nicholas has spent his entire life with the belief that he has to prove himself as his father was a wastrel and he does not want to merely rely on his uncle's generosity. He is set to leave for America the day after the annual Effington Christmas ball and Lizzie takes the opportunity to basically throw herself at Nicholas. However, Nicholas takes the high road, convinced that the best course of action is for Lizzie to marry her longtime "sweetheart," Charles, with whom she has been unofficially betrothed to since childhood. Lizzie leaves him humiliated, but manages to convince herself that she was not really in love with Nicholas, marries Charles, and is determined to never see Nicholas again.

Things do not go as plan as upon Charles' death seven years later, he leaves control of Lizzie's fortune, and that of their two sons, to Nicholas who returns to Britain three years later. Nicholas is initially ready to turn over control of the finances to Lizzie, who has done a great job, but changes his mind during their first meeting. Nicholas realizes he made a huge mistake and is determined to finally make Lizzie his. Unfortunately Lizzie has never completely gotten over the humiliation of his rejection. However, she has managed to get over her dead husbands betrayal, as she has already forgiven him (granted he is dead) for having an affair that lasted through half their marriage. Then the story becomes a little lengthy as Nicholas goes over and over the fact that he made a huge mistake, Nicholas is worried that Lizzie will never fully trust him because of what happened with Charles, and Lizzie becomes mopey about not wanting to admit that the last ten years of her life have been a mistake. Eventually the confrontation becomes over Lizzie learning to forgive herself, and her dead husband, and Nicholas, and moving on with her life.

This story had some amazing angst, which makes sense as the whole premise that the two leads made a huge mistake and must make ammends to themselves. And Alexander writes some great angst including some great scenes told from Nicholas' point of view where he reflects on what could have been. As is usual for most Alexander novels the dialogue is witty and zippy and all together fun, although there are times when the book takes the path down the witty banter disguised as arguing which both characters seem to like. Although the reasons behind why the two gave up on each other ten years ago may seem a little overdrawn and ridiculous, Alexander does an amazing job of delving into their inner thoughts and thus explaining their reasons. And I totally fell in love with Lizzie's kids, Christopher and Adam, who were entirely enjoyable, realistic, and just as well written as Lizzie and Nicholas.

Unfortunately the whole pretending to be frivolous thing just seemed a little overdone. While we see no real examples of her acting frivolous we are told, numerous times that she indeed does behave as though she's frivolous. In fact she manages to behave frivolously for seven years and convinces her husband that she has no business controlling her own finances so he leaves that responsibility to a man he hasn't seen in seven years. Adding that to the mistress thing makes it just to wierd that she so easily forgives him. For some reason I really do not get on the whole, "forgiveness" is key to moving on mantra that inhabits so many romance novels. Making it even odder is that fact that we meet the mistress, who lets Lizzie know that she, the mistress, and Charles had been soul mates and thus could not resist temptation. This prompts Lizzie to further forgive Charles and move on with her life. And said mistress happens to be friends wiht Nicholas and when Nicholas and Lizzie finally get together one of his conditions is that he will not give up old friends- which Lizzie readily agrees too. Personally, forgiveness does not extend far enough to allow your new husband to remain friends with your former husbands long-time mistress.

Rating: Their definitely could have been more sex, but the angst was some of the best I've read. I liked all the characters, but I couldn't get over the drawn out nature of the problems and the forgiveness bit.

A Little Bit Wicked

A Little Bit Wicked by Victoria Alexandra

Judith Chester is a widow who has gained a fair bit of notoriety in London society for engaging in a few trysts since her husband died ten years ago. Gideon Pearsall, Viscount Warton, has recently made a wager with three friends and the winner is to be the last of the four to get married. Gideon is certain he will win this bet due to his past experience with a marriage that lasted less than a day and turned out to be merely a ruse to make the woman's real fiance jealous. When Judith and Gideon give in to the passion they've felt for each other since first encountering each other at a ball, friends and family of both are worried that both of them are getting in over their heads. Gideon's Aunt Louisa does her best to make sure everyone knows how unsuitable Violet is for a wife and Judith's friend Susanna, Lady Dinsmore, warns Judith off Gideon for fear he'll break her heart.

To absolutely no one's surprise the two do begin to develop deeper feelings for each other. These feelings are made all the more complicated when Gideon's former wife (the marriage was annulled) shows up intent to get him back and Gideon has trouble over looking Judith's past indiscretions especially when one of them is a friend of his and continues to have (only) a friendship with Judith. Judith has her own troubled history with love and marriage which complicates things further when Gideon feels ready to admit his feelings. Her marriage, despite outward appearances and everything Judith says publically, was anything but perfect and has made her wary of placing herself in another man's control, showing her feelings, and especially of trusting a jealous man. It takes a lot of trust, and the involvement of numerous friends and family members to get these two to find their happily-ever-after.

I was reluctant to read any more Alexander books after the dreadful "The Perfect Wife," but I was certainly glad I picked this up. Violet was one of the more interesting heroines I've read and I certainly liked how she wasn't the typical grieving widow in all aspects. She wasn't sexless, she'd had decent sex although, of course, she Gideon is by far the best she's ever had and she lets down her guard far more with him than with her previous lovers. And I like how Gideon is portrayed as a (slightly) reformed rake whose had his crazy wild year after he lost the woman he thought he loved, but has settled down to a life of slightly too much booze and women- not a man who hops from bed to bed and then finds the right woman and BAM! settles down right away. I also found the secondary characters enjoyable, from the other wager-ers whose stories I look forward to reading, to Aunt Louisa who is hilarious even if she does follow the stereotype of overbearing older female relations, to the two "villians" of the story. Both Judith's ex-sister-in-law and Gideon's ex-wife are conniving, mean, horrible, and completely understandable.

The dialgoue is some of the best I've readin a romance novels- the conversations are hilarious, sad, angsty, thought-provoking, and a delight to read. There was no crazy side-plot, all we had to focus on was the great romance. And there was a nice little amount of angst, although it's not really dwelled on at all, just kind of taked about and forgotten wiich actually made more sense considering the protagonists and the situations. My complaints about the book are few admittedly; I don't understand why everyone in romance novels seem to assume that when an upper-class women have sexual relations they must fall in love or be totally aloof and and the actual love they both speak of at the end seems to have come out of nowhere. I am not a fan of overly love-provoking heroines or heroes (like showing repeatedly how good they are to children) but I do like to read about the relationship developing, not just have "I love him/ her"'s thrown in seemingly randomly.

Rating: I would probably give this book 3 1/2 hearts, but I don't do that so I'll give it four sinc e it was 100 times better than the last book of hers I reviewed. It was fun, great characters, great dialogue, but didn't really have much relationship development which is of course important.

The Perfect Wife

The Perfect Wife by Victoria Alexander

Sabrina Winfield is the well-behaved, proper widow of Jack, the former Lord Stanford and the two of them had developed quite the reputation for recklessness until he dies while participating in said recklessness. When he died he left her no money and little choice but to turn to smuggling to earn enough money to support her daughter, Belinda. However she gives up her exciting life to ensure that no hint of scandal attaches itself to her daughter. Nicholas, Earl of Wyldewood, is the wealthy widowered father of Eric who quickly falls for Belinda. Nicholas had formerly worked for the crown attempting to capture smugglers but one mysterious lady smuggler had successfully escaped his clutches and haunted him for years.

Now perilously low on funds and with her daughter's marriage to Eric ensured, Sabrina decides to head off to Egypt in search of Napoleon's lost gold. She is possession of a map to said gold because her husband won it in a card came. Nicholas takes it into his head that Sabrina would be a Perfect Wife for him and decides to follow her and then Belinda and Eric, accompanied by Nicholas's spinster sister Wynne, conclude that Nicholas has kidnapped Sabrina and give chase. Eventually Nicholas, Sabrina, Eric, Wynne, and Belinda all join forces with Sabrina's old business partner Captain Jack in search of the gold. The gang is pursued by three of Sabrina's spurned suitors and much funny business in Egypt ensues.

Did you notice how there was almost no mention of anything romantic in my summary? Well, that is because there was very little romance in the book. There was so much plot, much of it far fetched, uninteresting, and poorly written, that it seems there was no space to write any romantic interludes between the two leads. I also cannot understand why either of these characters would be remotely interested in each other. Nicholas is boring and completely misjudges Sabrina, and it is his musjudgement of her character that causes him to fall in love with her. Belinda is the most horrid simpering character I have ever read and all I could think about whenever she was in scene was how badly I wanted Sabrina to slap her. How could I ever like a character who could allow her daughter to turn out so... awful.

There is a surprise twist at the ending that, despite poorly done foreshadowing, was still a complete shock to me and it's always interesting when a writer can do that. The experienced, worldly Captain Jack and the bluestocking Wynne develop a tendre for each other and that is an interesting side plot, although their are enough side plots in this novel to make an entirely different book. What sex there was was not at all interesting and there was far from enough, which was a shame as it could have been the glue that held this stretched thin book together. There was a nice, albeit much too short lived, bout of angst when the issue of Sabrina's past was brought up, but it was far too late to save this book.

I told myself I would reserve 1 star ratings for books I could not get through, but despite getting through this book I have to give it 1 star. I did not find any of the characters, even periphery characters likable, and the two protagonists were probably the worst of the bunch. I hated the plot, the sex, and the writing.